Tuesday, November 20, 2012

FFT: Being an Art Student is Terrifying

I hear a lot of "oh being an art student is easy. You get to do what you love every day. You don't have to be smart, you don't have to work that hard, you don't have to do... anything." 
I don't think people who say this have any idea what actually goes into being an art student.
Being an art student is hard.
Being an art student is terrifying.
Being an art student is perhaps the most important thing I've done. It's maybe the only thing I think I've done right in my life. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

Yes, I get to do what I love every day. But that doesn't mean it isn't work. I struggle with projects like you might struggle over math problems. Except I'll come up with an answer that is completely different than what someone who is sitting right next to me might come up with. And that's okay. That's expected. Actually, if you come up with the same idea as whoever is sitting next to you, odds are, you are going to fail.

It gives me a sense of satisfaction to struggle over these problems, to work through thoughts and emotions, and come up with better work because of it. When my entire life is going down the drain, my art only gets better. I want to say that there's a reason to be thankful for life being shitty.

I don't know how I want to justify my choice to be an art student, though.
The first problem, I guess, is all the people who say "But what are you going to do with an art major?"
My answer: I don't know.
Why would I know?
Why would I want to know?
Wouldn't that take all the fun out of life?
I'd much rather take things one day at a time, figure things out as I go along, rather than have a plan and follow it to a "T". Because what if things go wrong? How could I pick my life up after that? Would I try to continue down that path, or would I have to scrap everything I've done in the past and start over? No. And I get that everyone is different about this, but that would not make me happy.
I need a little spontaneity, a little spice in my life.

I've already addressed people that say that being an art major is easy.

But my main point: being an art major is terrifying.

You pour all your energy, all your soul and heart, your literal (and figurative) blood, sweat, and tears into a piece, and then... you put it out into the world. How is that not the most terrifying thing in the world? To know that your peers, your teachers, people you want to like and respect you, are judging what you think and feel and create. 
That to be the best, you have to be torn down and built back up. 
That to excel and succeed, you have to fail. 

And people say that I took the "easy" path in college. That I am wasting my potential. 
They can't see it. 
That not only am I doing what I love, what makes me happy, but I am challenging myself. I am working harder than they could know. I may not be spending every hour of free time on a lab report, but how is my work not as important?